JASPER, Texas - Deputies say they have found a toddler wandering alone on a Texas street, and methamphetamine and more than a dozen snakes in his mother's home.
I know, I know, "think of the children!", but I can't help but be preoccupied with thoughts of snakes on meth.
After his car was allegedly clocked at 194 km, a teenager’s car was impounded and his license revoked for a week while he awaited charges.
Now, I know that suspension seems short, but keep in mind, at the speed he was driving, that’s 32,694 km worth of suspension.
HART TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) — Police say a naked 14-year-old boy taking a walk with a large white poodle pushed a woman in Michigan then fled.
Deputies were relieved to find and apprehend the boy, as it allowed them to settle a station betting pool on whether he was mentally unstable, or he was imaginary and the woman was whacked on acid.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Jokes: frogfish, cock fighting and voice boxing
British doctors are debating whether it is ethical to start clinical trials to allow voice box transplantation.
It is only a matter of time before other ethical questions will arise, such as how to decide who gets to have James Earl Jone’s voice box.
A brightly-coloured fish which bounces along the seabed has been hailed as a new species of frog fish by scientists - who have dubbed it "psychedelica".
Sadly, this discovery comes far too late for a late 60’s band to be named the New Psychedelica Frogfish.
Police and animal welfare officials near Toronto said they found a "sophisticated" cockfighting event in progress that featured on-site catering.
Because nothing says “sophisticated” like savoring a good meal as you watch your cockfight.
It is only a matter of time before other ethical questions will arise, such as how to decide who gets to have James Earl Jone’s voice box.
A brightly-coloured fish which bounces along the seabed has been hailed as a new species of frog fish by scientists - who have dubbed it "psychedelica".
Sadly, this discovery comes far too late for a late 60’s band to be named the New Psychedelica Frogfish.
Police and animal welfare officials near Toronto said they found a "sophisticated" cockfighting event in progress that featured on-site catering.
Because nothing says “sophisticated” like savoring a good meal as you watch your cockfight.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Jokes: Tar pits, word fossils, fairy tales
A linguistics team says it can predict which English words are likely to become extinct - citing "squeeze", "guts", "stick" and "bad" as probable first casualties.
That’s right, soon these words will be extinct, and no one will be able to understand any of the dialogue in today’s porn.
LOS ANGELES - Scientists are studying a huge cache of Ice Age fossil deposits recovered near Los Angeles' famous La Brea Tar Pits.
Incredible. They found fossils. Right beside a famous deposit of fossils.
LOS ANGELES - Property records show the house where the Southern California woman who gave birth to octuplets lives is under the threat of foreclosure.
The grandmother did note that at this point, it would really be more appropriate to live in a shoe.
That’s right, soon these words will be extinct, and no one will be able to understand any of the dialogue in today’s porn.
LOS ANGELES - Scientists are studying a huge cache of Ice Age fossil deposits recovered near Los Angeles' famous La Brea Tar Pits.
Incredible. They found fossils. Right beside a famous deposit of fossils.
LOS ANGELES - Property records show the house where the Southern California woman who gave birth to octuplets lives is under the threat of foreclosure.
The grandmother did note that at this point, it would really be more appropriate to live in a shoe.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
jokes: Russia sex marathons, underage cops, stray dogs and topless baristas
A new coffee shop in Maine features topless male and female staff.
Like Starbucks, they offer coffee and pastries. They have a very different version of "breakfast pairings” though.
A German shepherd named Astro who has been missing from his family for more than nine years is finally home.
The family is overjoyed that the dog they knew only as an adorable puppy has been returned to them as a borderline feral, smelly old dog that needs lots of medical care.
A man in Russia collapsed and died minutes after winning a $4,300 bet with two women that he could complete a 12 hour sex marathon with them.
One of the women told Moscow police: “We called emergency services but it was too late, there was nothing they could do.”
“And we are definitely not going to star in a porn film based on this event, and it will definitely not be called “the Russian Black Widow Twins’ Orgy to the Death.”
After a 14-year-old boy posing as a policemen drove a squad car and aided in an arrest before being found out, police superintendent said:
“We were very fortunate that a lot of tragic things didn’t happen.”
“because now we still get to make a Nickelodeon movie about it.”
Like Starbucks, they offer coffee and pastries. They have a very different version of "breakfast pairings” though.
A German shepherd named Astro who has been missing from his family for more than nine years is finally home.
The family is overjoyed that the dog they knew only as an adorable puppy has been returned to them as a borderline feral, smelly old dog that needs lots of medical care.
A man in Russia collapsed and died minutes after winning a $4,300 bet with two women that he could complete a 12 hour sex marathon with them.
One of the women told Moscow police: “We called emergency services but it was too late, there was nothing they could do.”
“And we are definitely not going to star in a porn film based on this event, and it will definitely not be called “the Russian Black Widow Twins’ Orgy to the Death.”
After a 14-year-old boy posing as a policemen drove a squad car and aided in an arrest before being found out, police superintendent said:
“We were very fortunate that a lot of tragic things didn’t happen.”
“because now we still get to make a Nickelodeon movie about it.”
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