jokes: video games & loneliness & sexy dinosaurs

PARIS - Finnish students came out on top of a worldwide education study on science performance. Canadian students were third, U.S. students 29th.

Americans wanted to criticize the study, but they couldn't quite comprehend the structure of the experiment.


WASHINGTON - A new ecological report states that divorce can be bad for the environment, because A married household actually uses resources more efficiently than a divorced household.

So hey, lonely people: don’t just feel sad and inadequate. Feel guilty.

To the polygamists: I know you’re feeling smug right about now, but having three wives is only more efficient if you don’t have a dozen kids.


BOISE, Idaho - An Idaho newspaper is reporting that eight men have had sexual encounters with disgraced Republican Senator Larry Craig.

When an undercover cop said Craig solicited sex, that sounded kind of gay. But sleeping with eight people, now THAT sounds like a gay man.


The fossilized duckbilled hadrosaur is so well preserved that scientists have been able to calculate its muscle mass and learn that it was more muscular than thought, probably giving it the ability to outrun predators such as T. rex.

Wow. You know, I never really noticed how ripped that dinosaur mummy was. That, that is HOT.


More than 75% of parents are concerned about the content of video games played by their children, a survey suggests. Almost half of the 4,000 parents surveyed in the UK, France, Italy and Germany said that one hour of gaming each day should be the limit.

However, 40% of those parents also said that it is anyone’s responsibility except theirs to establish discipline or healthy habits for their offspring.

headline jokes: The Last Supper, sexless marriage and diapers

An Italian musician and computer technician claims to have uncovered musical notes encoded in Leonardo Da Vinci's "Last Supper."

But if you play it backwards: the Devil’s music.



MONTREAL - If a Quebec company has its way, dirty diapers normally destined for landfills will soon be transformed into a cost-effective, synthetic diesel fuel.

To my mom: I don’t care how much it would save me on gas, I’m not getting knocked up.



A state appeals court Friday in Alabama annulled a marriage after the wife complained that her husband never consummated the union. Her husband, a Czech citizen, could lose his permanent resident status under U.S. immigration laws and be deported.

And so in a nutshell: put out, or get deported.